Boys. Oy.

Why oh why are boys at the gym so dang loud? I took a Pilates class yesterday next to this guy who you would think spent the entire class bench-pressing twice his own weight. In Pilates. (a) it really isn't the sort of workout that requires grunting and (b) aren't you supposed to be breathing in and out slowly and thoroughly anyway?
And why oh why do boys feel the need to grunt, groan, moan, exhale explosively, etc. in the steam room? Sweet Jesus - they aren't doing anything in there except (hopefully) relaxing - and can't they even relax quietly? Why?
The steam room aspect is clearly an annoying aspect of my gym - to wit. the co-ed steam room. In this instance I miss my supremely expensive back-when-I-was-a-lawyer gym with the steam room in the locker rooms - no need for a suit *and* blessed blessed silence. The other annoying aspect of my current gym is the Parade Grounds for all the women. Everything - and I mean *everything* - main cardio room, main weight room, pool, steam room, sauna, whirlpool, quiet cardio room, all studios and the MEN's locker room are on the first floor. What, you might ask, is on the second floor (and it is really more like a loft - it is not the whole second floor by any means)? The women's locker room - accessed by a set of stairs and a bridge, right out there in the open, which means that, when you arrive, to get to the locker rooms you have to Parade up the stairs and across the bridge - in full and glorious sight of the entire main work-out room, then you Parade back down. Even worse is getting to the pool area, because there is an equivalent Parade Ground consisting of bridge and stairs that you have to trot down in your swimsuit - cellulite and ass in full view of anyone (a) already in the pool or (b) lounging in the hot-tub. Men just appear - poof! - at the pool - their workout room opens onto right next to the pool - I feel it is unfair.
My annoyance with this has been building for a while, clearly. If it weren't for the lovely cleaned-by-non-chlorine-methods pool, which leaves your skin smooth and soft after a long swim, instead of stretched tightly across your bones in the manner of chlorine pools anywhere...

Ding was totally right

The Golden Compass rocked - I finished it at one late-night/early-morning go last night. This, of course, means I now have no airplane book. I'll be purchasing The Subtle Knife, but have decided not to do so until tomorrow - who knows if I could keep out of it for a whole day.

Interestingly, according to the movie website's test, my daemon is an osprey called Archeleron. My other daemon, of course, is a dog called Teddy.

I can also report that, as per usual, I pronounce all the character names and made-up-world-objects differently in my head than they will pronounce them in the movie. ie: 'day-mon' rather than 'dee-min,' 'Leer-ah' rather than 'Lie-rah,' etc.

Pricey War and Peace

I'm back from Borders - Tolstoy-less. Borders price? $40.00 ($3.00 OVER the list price) - Amazon's price? $22.20. So I'll be waiting for War and Peace to be free-shipped to me sometime next week.
Meanwhile, to tide me over on my plane ride Thursday (!!!) I picked up The Golden Compass, the first book in Phillip Pullman's 'His Dark Materials' series which Ding has been recommending to me since before recommending it was cool. I've resisted because I have a thing about talking animals - but I'm going to try to power through that mental tic.

Literary Weakling

I admit it, with the exception of Life of Pi, I've never made it through a Booker prize winning novel - perhaps because every one I've picked up shares traits in common with this year's winner (and congrats to Anne Enright, but I won't be attempting her novel) - the story regarding the win contains such selling points as:

Howard Davies, the chairman of the judging panel, acknowledged the book was "a little bleak" in places, but praised it as "a very readable novel."

"Anne Enright has written a powerful, uncomfortable and, at times, angry book. 'The Gathering' is an unflinching look at a grieving family in tough and striking language," ...

Jonathan Ruppin of British bookstore Foyles called the judges' choice "a welcome boost for serious literature."

"Not everyone will be comfortable with this bleak account of conflict and despair, but the writing is undeniably exquisite," he said.

Hmmmm. I like non-serious literature. However, in an attempt to shore up my literary chops, I'm about to head over to Borders to get the new translation of War and Peace. And, no, I've never read that either - with the exception of Oblomov, I've never made it through a Russian novel.

Man Santa

I have to say that Ding's Man Santa has got me thinking - I am not naturally trusting - I would go so far as to say that my nature is one of rank suspicion. I have whined in the past about being unsuited for Match.com for this very reason - and whined that I wanted to live in a world with proper introductions. But have I translated this whining into action? I have not. So new project for this fall - inform my friends that I am interested in meeting single men who might click with me (and not be entirely freaked out by my quirks/issues/etc.) and would be grateful for tips/introductions/general keeping-an-eye-out-edness/etc.

Networking for dates. Such a weird concept. G'bye romantic ideals - I hardly knew ye.

The Good, the Bads and the Query

The Good
Today at lunch I was running a bunch of errands when I was stopped on the street by a fashionably dressed woman who wanted to know where I got my handbag. Me - (looking down to see what I was carrying) oh - it's vintage. Her - It's fabulous. Me - (says) Thank you. (Thinks - that was $7.00 well spent!)

The Bads
Today at lunch I was running a bunch of errands - on my first day back in winter shoes - closed toe, closed heel, 3 inches. What was I thinking? Ouch
The humidity is gone, and with it my easy curls - I'm back to straightening my hair - it is more reliable in this weather - but also time consuming. Sigh.

The Query
Today at lunch I was running a bunch of errands. As I was hobbling back towards the office, I passed f'ing Macy's, where I saw a large corner window display advertising Martha Stewart linens. Hmmmm, K-Mart to Macy's? Lateral move?

Resistance has proven futile.

So I hired a life coach to help me, hopefully, make some decisions about what to do with the rest of my life since I can't seem to commit to an option on my own. Two sessions in, the verdict was:

"Ahem, have you noticed your clinical depression? I'm not sure life coaching can benefit you at this point, and I don't like for you to waste your money."

Well, alrighty then.

So after rejecting 21 years of repeated suggestions from various therapists that, perhaps, maybe, a pill might be of some use, I have caved. The pill popping began 2 weeks ago - this is my first week on the full dose. So if I get Wednesday-Adams-locked-in-a-happy-room-with-Disney-movies chipper suddenly? Well, now you'll know why. And if it happens, please don't mention it to me because, needless to say, one part of my dread of taking the pills? Becoming annoyingly chipper.

My Interesting Wake-up Call

I live on a corner of a high-rise building, and my next door neighbors have a door on one side of the corner of the hall and mine is on the other - which is to say our doors are very close. Living next door we have an odd couple - a grandfather and granddaughter - the grandfather is very chatty but always wears the exact same clothes - all the time, for weeks I have noticed no change, and we both have dogs, so I see him rather often, so that is oddity number one. Oddity number two is that the granddaughter is about my age, but looks, not to put too fine a point on it, like a low rent working girl - perhaps an exotic dancer - she is too skanky for Penthouse (and Playboy is completely out of the question) her look consists pretty much entirely of 'I will do everything possible to focus all attention on the investment I make in these two hunks of silicon embedded in my chest' - the weak-no-muscle-skinny rest of the body, the fake tan, the fake blonde and the totally inappropriate clothing - the most we can expect on any given day is that her ass and boobs are mostly covered.

Anyway, 5 a.m. yesterday, I barely register repeated knocks - not on my door, but the door next door. Then I groggily notice a dispute - *then* I hear a female voice saying "I know my rights - you can't come in." - well, it gets louder and louder from there, and it just keeps going on and on, to the point where I get up to look out the peephole to see if this is a situation where I need to call down to the front desk and have them send someone to break it up.It is not - it is four , count 'em, four of Chicago's finest, complete down to bullet proof vests, saying such matter of things to the woman next door as 'Lets not do this in the hall' and 'We just want to check on him and see that he is alright' as she protests saying something about her grandfather.Well, I go back to bed, and, at some point she clearly lets them in, and I start dosing off when, lo, I hear the clear sounds of the woman being dragged off against her will, screaming to her grandfather to 'call Mike! Call *my* Mike!'And then blessed silence. An interesting event, no?

I haven't seen either of them since, but the dogs are still (rather clearly) in the apartment, so one or both of them are there.

Ah - bright lights, big city.

A wee distraction from Harry.

Lalalalalala - In the past I've ranted on about Macy's, so you know I was pleased to read these short reports collected by NYT-online today - highlights?

June marked the fifth-straight month that the operator of the Macy's and Bloomingdale's chains posted same-store sales that missed expectations.

The Cincinnati-based company said total sales for the June period fell 1.9 percent to $2.32 billion....

Macy's suffered a 2.7 percent drop in same-stores sales, worse than the 0.8 percent decline expected....

The company, which has been the subject of takeover speculation in recent weeks...

Go get 'em, unknown takeover type entity! Faster, pussycat, kill, kill!

Coasting

I'm going to let Ding do my work for me today.

Shocking Green-ness

I have just been picking up my organic veg farm share in an i-go car.

I mean...

Incongruous

I don't know quite what sort of light romantic comedy "Rory's First Kiss" is going to turn out to be, what with the apparent evacuation of citizens from Gothem and the military presence and all.

That's all I've got for you on the filming today. Extras all dragging suitcases and/or duffel bags
(kneejerk quote coming up "Please do not describe your duffel as 'all duffels look alike'"), extras dressed in military garb in military vehicles, and reports of a helicopter (I missed that part). I did not see anyone who was not an extra.

(Must get digital camera now that have blog.)

Woo Woo - A Wedding!

HUZZAH

- there is a wedding on my 2007 calendar (where I am a guest, not an employee)! Mr. Grant-Dichotomy himself is to be wed in November in Atlanta to the most excellent Ms. K--! Yay! I've never been to Atlanta, have no idea where the ceremony will be held, in short, have no logistical information or knowledge whatsoever - but can report that I have, nevertheless, just spent 30 minutes researching Atlanta hotels, bed & breakfasts, inns and vacation rentals. Also, flights. Also car rentals. I have barely restrained myself from ringing people up to see about their travel plans and the possibility of room sharing.

In addition, I posited over the phone to Mr. Grant-Dichotomy that anyone not in a serious relationship (married, engaged, living together) who decides to get offended because the invitation does not provide for an "and Guest" is an ass. So then I had to research that as well, and was pleased to see that while I am correct - I am also, perhaps, overly blunt and prolly shouldn't jump right into the ad hominum attack language, but should rather say, along with Emily Post, something more along the lines of "Guests, Respect Your Invitation." (That link is for you, oh Groom).

Sigh, I just love weddings - and even better - weddings of people I love!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm - Christian...........

And, to a lesser, but not that much lesser, extent - Maggie.

The excitement here is that Batman II will be shooting in front of my office tomorrow - on the Wabash Street bridge. It is a testament, I believe, to my geek cred that when I read in the elevators about the street closure tomorrow for the shooting of scenes for 'Rory's First Kiss' that I knew that such was the shooting name for The Dark Knight.

Or, um, not.

Pretty much everything about this May sales report makes me happy - in the same weird way that box office figures (both on the success and failure end) can make me happy. The highlights for me?

Target? (love) - same store sales up 5.8%

Nordstroms (again with the love) - same store sales up 6.3%

But the real joy lies in the schadenfreude:

Wal-mart? yes, up 1.1%, but at the low-end of their predictions and with a note that: "...while Wal-Mart has stumbled with fashions that its customers find either too dowdy or too racy, Target's "cheap chic" apparel and housewares continue to win new customers."

And now, for the real joy. (And, while it is hard to say that Macy's is the Ultimate Evil in a Wal-mart/Macy's showdown, because on a global scale, Wal-mart is more with the Evil and I cannot deny that, I will say that I want Macy's to be punished for taking over and changing Marshall Fields. I want them to hurt over that decision. I want it to keep executives up at night thinking - 'why did we walk through the Rembrandt?') So, without further ado - Macy's? DOWN 3.3% and, to quote from the article:

"The Cincinnati-based owner of Macy's and Bloomingdale's admits results have been hampered by sluggishness at 400 stores that were formerly operated by rival May Co., which the company acquired in 2005 for $11.5 billion.
Now-defunct regional chains like Marshall Field, Filene's, Foley's and Burdines were converted to Macy's last fall, and shoppers balked as Macy's brought in new merchandise and reined in discounts. Macy's said increased marketing and promotions are expected to boost same-store sales in June and July. But the company still says a decline in June is likely."

Can I just say that, if TPTB at Macy's tried to do something that would strengthen my resolve to not darken the door of Macy's*, it would basically be to send me more direct mail and direct more ads at me than the ones that are, at present, pissing me off by intruding on my attention every other day? The ones I pull out of my mailbox, glance down at, see the big bright annoying red fucking star, think (and sometimes, I admit, mumble aloud) 'fucking Macy's' in knee-jerk response thereto, and then toss. Well done, Macy's, well done.

And while I got rid of my TV, so the upped ad-buys there won't impact me, I will say that I've never seen a Macy's ad that did not actively cause me, or those I'm with, to start throwing angry comments at the screen. As Ding pointed out during their 'dancing in the streets campaign' - 'Yes, that is what I want - to wear the same [expletive deleted] thing everyone else in America is wearing.'

*In the interest of full disclosure, I have gone in the Macy's on Michigan on very rare occassions (I count 3) (I will not go into the State Street Store) for the purpose of buying Lush products. And Fetchin' and I went from the Macy's front door to Lush to the Levenger shop this weekend. We felt guilty about it. It isn't right. But it is the only place for Levenger, which Fetchin' loves, and it is the most convenient Lush - although when I am not suffering from a resolute and unyielding need for Lush and/or caught up in the excitement of store-prowling with friends, I do make the effort to go to the proper store north of downtown - harder now with no car and as I wait for my i-Go stuff to arrive. See - I feel so guilty about it that I had to write that much excuse for myself. No more Macy's for me. It just can't be good for my psyche.

Fancy Schmancy New Gym.

So on Monday I joined a new gym, conveniently located relatively near the work/home complex. Of course I went through the work benefits in selecting a gym, and, although there is one that is closer, I joined the one that Ms. Gooch and KW already belong to. Its a motivation thing.

I had forgotten, though, that the way to get me to exercise is classes - how I could forget this is beyond me - I simply don't have the will to exercise on my own - but I do have the will to walk through the door of a classroom and then the peer pressure/shaming effect kicks in and does the rest of the work for me. (Oddly, the peer pressure/shaming effect also works if I manage to summon up the will to put in an exercise tape - but there there is the procrastination effect to overcome - classes are even better because they start at a particular time.)

Tonight, I am excited to try two new classes (unless the first one totally kicks my ass, and then it will be one new class and an hour of pilates). But the classes are 'Sexy Bodies' and 'Tango Salsa Caliente' - I'm walking around today and finding that the phrase 'Tango Salsa Caliente' is floating through my mind - and, furthermore, that I am quoting something in the way I am saying 'Caliente' - but, sadly, I cannot figure out what I am quoting.

Google Me and Harry Potter!

Hopefully, in a bit more than a week, when you google my name and 'Harry Potter' there will be a hit! How exciting is that? A friend who works at a newspaper mentioned the planned HP Canadian Quest and Read-a-thon to an editor, the result of which is that, this very day, I gave a phone interview (hopefully, knock wood, without saying anything that will look profoundly stupid in print). I managed not to mention that we are buying t-shirts for the event - whenever I say that, people get that sortof glazed look where you know they are thinking 'aren't we verging a bit on Trekie territory here' - when they don't actually give voice to that concern. In any event, with any luck our little trip might warrant a blurb in next Friday's paper!

Exciting!

Meanwhile, I'm trying to determine whether attending the Fred & George appearance (by actors James and Oliver Phelps) in a nearby 'burb also crosses the line into Trekie territory. However, I have a sneaking suspicion I could convince Ms. Gooch to go - and I note that my t-shirt advertises Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, and I could maybe get it signed.... Thoughts?

The Civilized Lunch Hour

Now that I've moved within 300 paces of my work, my lunch hours have become both crazy productive and relaxing - over the last week, I've been experimenting with things that one can do with one's lunch hour, as follows:

Monday: Cook and eat lunch at home, in addition to walking Teddy.
Tuesday: Purchase curtain rods and hang curtains, in addition to eating lunch at home and walking Teddy.
Wednesday: Take a refreshing nap, in addition to eating lunch at home and walking Teddy.
Thursday: Shower, in addition to eating lunch at home and walking Teddy.

It is the bomb, man!

Ode to the Radish

This morning I was feeling very European - or at least not American - I went to the farmer's market after walking the Tedster (now that I live downtown I have oodles of free time in the morning) which led to an unorthodox breakfast of coffee, toasted sour dough bread with goat cheese and honey, snap peas and radishes with salt. This was all inspired by the name of the radishes I bought - a mild variety which the dealer told me are called 'French breakfast.' I love radishes.

Take my money - please.

Obama just got more of my money - basically for running a fun campaign. They are raffling off dinner with Obama for 4 people who donate any amount of money in the next week. (Although raffle isn't really right, since they say they will select the participants - well whatever).

I mean, why not shoot him another $25 bucks for the chance (and in appreciation for the sheer amusement value I gained out of the stunt) was my way of thinking? So, reader, I did.