I'm at the end of my rope (and it is only March) as re Annoying Man. The weather is nicer in Chicago (at least temporarily - curse you rapidly falling temperatures) which has resulted in longer walks for the Tedster. One of the favorite walks (Teddy pretty much picks which way he wants to go on the way out, and then I have to drag, cajole and direct on the way back) is down to a big beach about 4 blocks from my house. Which, alas, is the haunt of Annoying Man.
As a side note, let me just say that talking does not come easily for me (this will no doubt surprise even those who know me) but it is true - I have to gear up to talk - I need to prepare my mind to engage verbally with other people. This was a big adjustment when I got Teddy (who, as aforementioned, is adorable) because people would talk to me on the street. This, I am not used to. It is like being spoken to in the gym, or while waiting in a line - sure, it is public space, but I feel like I should get to exist in a bubble in the midst of that space. Now I am used to making the correct responses to the normal chit-chat amongst other dog walkers and those sans dog who want to know Teddy's breed or age. So I'm saying I'm not a complete verbal idiot.
BUT then there is Annoying Man. He hangs out at the beach, with his dog, and I swear to you he lies in wait for people. I hasten to add that this is not just me, he just spends his entire dog walking time chatting people up. In fact, his last dog passed away, so now he is walking Excuse For Human Contact Number Two.
Last summer I was still my way around in the whole dog-walking-chit-chat social norms, so I would stand and talk to him for a while. But this year, I'm not so much willing to do this. And the social norms do not require it! But how to communicate this essential truth to Annoying Man? I have no clue.
Here is what has not worked:
1. Crossing the street (if he hasn't already collared someone, he will cross over with you). In fact, this morning he came to MEET me on the way to the beach - and there ain't nowhere safe to cross in the long block to the beach.
2. Saying 'have a nice morning' and walking away from him quickly. He follows you. Or, even more dastardly, gets his leash just-so, the effect of which is that his dog is in between you and your dog, so that you are boxed in.
3. Leaving in one's very obvious earphones/radio (and they *are* obvious - earbuds hurt my ears) and not replying (he just asks you again more loudly AND pulls a Bobby Goren 'getting his face all up in your grill to force eye contact' move.)
4. Avoiding eye contact (see above reference to Bobby Goren move).
5. Reading. (Yes, I occasionally read and walk the dog at the same time).
6. Varying the walk schedule. He is, I swear, down there all morning and evening and night. I say a quick prayer of blessing anytime I make it to the beach and he is *not* there. I also say a quick prayer of blessing if someone else is collared first. It is a brutal truth - the whole thing is a 'better him than me' survival mentality down there.
I may be stuck with downright rudeness. But what if even that doesn't work? And what if it does work? Although if he would just clue into a social norm, any fracking social norm, downright rudeness would not be necessary. And clearly, people who cannot clue in to any social norms are deserving of a certain amount of consideration and compassion. But.... How can I manage to avoid feeling guilty if downright rudeness works? (If it doesn't work, clearly I'll have my righteous indignation to keep me warm, so that is some consolation.)
As a side note, let me just say that talking does not come easily for me (this will no doubt surprise even those who know me) but it is true - I have to gear up to talk - I need to prepare my mind to engage verbally with other people. This was a big adjustment when I got Teddy (who, as aforementioned, is adorable) because people would talk to me on the street. This, I am not used to. It is like being spoken to in the gym, or while waiting in a line - sure, it is public space, but I feel like I should get to exist in a bubble in the midst of that space. Now I am used to making the correct responses to the normal chit-chat amongst other dog walkers and those sans dog who want to know Teddy's breed or age. So I'm saying I'm not a complete verbal idiot.
BUT then there is Annoying Man. He hangs out at the beach, with his dog, and I swear to you he lies in wait for people. I hasten to add that this is not just me, he just spends his entire dog walking time chatting people up. In fact, his last dog passed away, so now he is walking Excuse For Human Contact Number Two.
Last summer I was still my way around in the whole dog-walking-chit-chat social norms, so I would stand and talk to him for a while. But this year, I'm not so much willing to do this. And the social norms do not require it! But how to communicate this essential truth to Annoying Man? I have no clue.
Here is what has not worked:
1. Crossing the street (if he hasn't already collared someone, he will cross over with you). In fact, this morning he came to MEET me on the way to the beach - and there ain't nowhere safe to cross in the long block to the beach.
2. Saying 'have a nice morning' and walking away from him quickly. He follows you. Or, even more dastardly, gets his leash just-so, the effect of which is that his dog is in between you and your dog, so that you are boxed in.
3. Leaving in one's very obvious earphones/radio (and they *are* obvious - earbuds hurt my ears) and not replying (he just asks you again more loudly AND pulls a Bobby Goren 'getting his face all up in your grill to force eye contact' move.)
4. Avoiding eye contact (see above reference to Bobby Goren move).
5. Reading. (Yes, I occasionally read and walk the dog at the same time).
6. Varying the walk schedule. He is, I swear, down there all morning and evening and night. I say a quick prayer of blessing anytime I make it to the beach and he is *not* there. I also say a quick prayer of blessing if someone else is collared first. It is a brutal truth - the whole thing is a 'better him than me' survival mentality down there.
I may be stuck with downright rudeness. But what if even that doesn't work? And what if it does work? Although if he would just clue into a social norm, any fracking social norm, downright rudeness would not be necessary. And clearly, people who cannot clue in to any social norms are deserving of a certain amount of consideration and compassion. But.... How can I manage to avoid feeling guilty if downright rudeness works? (If it doesn't work, clearly I'll have my righteous indignation to keep me warm, so that is some consolation.)
Really, the only thing that is a 100% foolproof is abstinence from the beach.
1 comment:
you must shoot him.
it's the only way.
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