Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Catalog II


So the Oscars are coming up. Although I no longer view them with the idealistic fervor of my youth (and I’m looking at you, Tom Hanks, as the fulcrum upon which my ever-faster spin into complete disillusionment is hung) I still feel compelled not only to watch, but to engage in the annual futile gesture of making picks. The problem is that, much as I might follow the politics (which I do) I am unable to make use of this research when making my picks, because every year, in every category in which I have an opinion (which leaves out the shorts) I feel compelled to pick my actual favorite. (Welcome, Futility. Good to see you again. Sit right down here next to me and let's watch the show!)

Well, I was e-mailing the divine Ms. GnowN, and was saying that if the past was any indication, the smart money this year is on Babel for best picture because, every year, there is one film up for best picture that I absolutely have zero interest in seeing - I won’t have seen it by Oscar day, and I won’t see it after Oscar day - my entire self rebels against it - and that film, it seems, will be the ultimate winner.

Then I thought I should test this hypothesis and, while it is true that such has been the case for the last two years running, it is not nearly as flawless an indicator of an eventual win as I thought. So then I thought, for my own amusement, I would arrange the Best Picture winners for the years since I turned 13 (when I would have been routinely seeing the nominees in the year of release) into general categories, which I present here for no particularly good reason other than my own amusement.

Have Not Seen, but Feel Slightly Guilty Thereat
Gandhi

Have Not Seen and Frankly See No Reason to Do So (includes Loathe Without Having Seen)
The English Patient, Million Dollar Baby, Crash

Have Seen and Loathe with a Violent Loathing - Mentions-of or References-to Tends to Cause Spontaneous Repetitive Rants
Unforgiven, Forrest Gump, Braveheart

Have Seen, but Frankly See No Reason to Repeat the Experience (includes both the Too-Emotionally-Jarring-to-Rewatch and the Big-Meh’s)
Terms of Endearment, Platoon, The Last Emperor, Rain Man, Driving Miss Daisy, Dances with Wolves, Silence of the Lambs, Schindler’s List, A Beautiful Mind

Have Seen and Like - Actually Rewatch - Even Own Some
Out of Africa, Titanic, Shakespeare in Love, American Beauty, Gladiator, Chicago, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

Really Truly Adore, Own, and Rewatch with Some Regularity
Chariots of Fire, Amadeus

4 comments:

Teri said...

Gandhi is surprisingly good but painful.
Braveheart should not even be mentioned in polite company.
The English Patient falls into my own personal category of "movies that should not have been made, or at least that should not have been made feature length." another movie in this category which blessedly didn't even come close to a decent award is Catch Me if You Can. Avoid at all costs.

Since I was out of the country for the vast majority of this year's movies, I feel like I have an excuse not to care about anything besides people's dresses. :-) (I might get around to seeing the winners...maybe...)

Atalanta said...

You confirm my views on the 'have not seens'! (Should see Gandhi, should continue to avoid The English Patient). There is actually a free video of The English Patient available on the Book Swap Shelf in my building's laundry room - even when it is free I cannot muster the energy to watch it.

Delia Christina said...

alas, i only saw the English Patient because i was trapped in grad school and, really - when you're that depressed anything looks like a pick-me-up.

i have not been able to bear watching it since.

i will always watch Chariots of Fire and Amadeus. why? because they are good and pretty. (remember when movies used to be pretty? like, they looked yummy? now, they all look like photorealist crap.)

Atalanta said...

True. I was trying to think of the any recently released good, pretty movie, but could not come up with an English language one to save my life - I had to turn to China, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hero - but those aren't exactly recent at this point either.
I watch Blue Crush (repeatedly) because it is pretty - but the good is problematic.